AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

This is prolly why manwhore and I never travel together other than the usual weekend mini breaks within Cebu.

Domestic God asks me: So which shoes are you taking?

Me: They're ready. Over there. One havs high, one havs flat and the killer brown strappy f-me platforms.

DG: Are you sure?

Me and annoyed: Yes. Why, are you planning to bring 10 pairs of footwear.

DG, mockingly opening his eyes wide and mockingly saying: Yeeeeeeeessssssss

Me and inside my head only: We're only staying there for 6 freakin' days, why would I need all my shoes?!?

So I just rolled my eyes.

And then:

DG: What about this brown shawl?

Me and inside my head only: You're fuckin' kidding right! You already packed my other brown shawl earlier!

So I just stared at him until he went back to going over my closet.

And a few seconds ago...

DG: So you don't want to bring along another havs high? The one with the silver strap.

Me and resigned to the way things are going: Ok, whatever. (I just want to forget about this whole packing thing (literally if spelled and/or pronounced in some other way) and just purchase what I miss. Hey, we're going to Manila, not the wilderness)

And then after a few moments, I saw him putting into the pink suitcase a bathing suit that barely cover my under parts.

WTF!!!!!! Is he planning to sell me to an international prostitution ring or something?? Hahahahahaha!!!

No, You don't Know,but these ain't Secrets

Two things most people don't know:

1. I have two years' worth of unpublished photos from parties and night-outs. And until this month, I'm out a max of 4x a week! I prolly have pictures of you that you haven't seen!

2. This Manila trip is my first PLANNED trip outside Cebu with the manwhore/adam/domestic god/cap. And we've been together for more than 12 fuckin' years! To think, we even met and hooked up in Bicol. So hey, I'm wrong. We had a first. (That's why I added the word "planned" in all caps up there, first sentence).

Anyhoooo, he's been ooooooooooooll over the Philippines: from the tips of Luzon and all the way to the remote areas of Mindanao. And I've been to places in the 3 major islands as well, and even went as far as Thailand, Europe and Singapore!

But we've conquered Cebu like the Spaniards conquered the Philippines, so it's all good. We'll go from here. :)

3. I suck at packing and usually throw everything inside my suitcase, it ends up so turbulent. But the domestic god seems to really like it. (The packing, not the turbulent-type thing) How do I know? He always nags at me to start packing whenever I have a trip planned. Plus now, I've piled my travel stuff on the bed so I can just haul them all at once into my gorgeous pink suitcase. But then, I can see him right now folding each item carefully, adding some tops or accessory from my closet which he recalled looked good with a particular shawl or tights.

Refried Brains

Ok, so for the last two years, I haven't been writing for a living. I missed it but I had a full time job doing stuff that was very remotely related to the writing industry. And I didn't want to ruin my R&R or social life by accepting freelance work so professional writing was thereby shelved.

And now all of a sudden, I volunteered to write five articles in a span of 8 hours. My new boss sounded amazed when I said I could do 5. And his requirements were not the usual rewritten, low-quality stuff circulating the web, but full-on, well-researched articles with snippets of quotes and real-life humor. And it seems my brains are still sizzling from the effort. This better be worth it coz tonight, I gave up a very important aspect of my being. The Tuesday Group. Good thing we can still do it on a Thursday. Or do it by myself, like a Tuesday Solo.

Yeah, I'm gonna. Right now.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Home-based Thing

Seriously starting to love this work at home thing. I can take power naps whenever I'm drowsy. Like right now. So I'm having a glass of Tequila Rose to wake me up. The downside is there's nobody to talk out loud to. Good thing chatting with people over Skype and YM about funny stuff can still make me go LOL. And there's nobody close enough to disturb when I have my diva moments. Which is all the time. 

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

On the Way Home

So, I got totally hammered last night. 5 orgamsic bottles of red horse stallion in the span of 2 hours at TGI Friday's for Tuesday Group. So don't ask me why I was totally intoxicated.

Resulting in me spilling my personal stuff to the elderly, nice cab driver on the way home. I'm so used to be the sullen-silent type during cab rides, drunk or not. Coz I don't want to act all chummy so one can take advantage of it and ask for an additional twenty during pay-out. But he started it. And he wasn't drunk. What's his excuse? He reminded me of my 2 grandpas. 

So now he knows how many we are in the family, why I decided to move out and be on my own and even my personal opinions about Pnoy's taste for younger women and why the road to my apartment isn't all bumpy and muddy anymore. 

But I'm not a celebrity and I don't have deep dark secrets, so no harm done.

Book Worm Mode and Then Some

Started reading my first Nick Hornby novel. I got curious by all the reviews so I decided to purchase it along with Sophie Kinsella's (a long time favorite) latest. 

Since I think I've only heard of him vaguely and in passing and I couldn't even remember when and where, the spectacular reviews were what made me do it.

I'm looking forward to spending the next day or two reading about what he's gonna tell. So far, page one had me chuckling already (while I was waiting in a 48-year-long line for a cab after shopping for refrigerator, beer and household cleaning stools at SM). Got the feeling this might be some kind of dark comedy (yeah! I got that from page 1!), which I'm mostly not a fan of.

But I don't care. It was LOL at page 2 and 3, before I placed it down for some Sunday night booze and movie marathon.

One has to have time management for all the good stuff.

Strange Sunday Brunch

It ain't bad. Just strange. Because it's so normal for me to have some sort of hang-over on Sunday mornings. Today, I woke up feeling like an egg yolk. So I ate this feeling for brunch. 

And rewarded myself with my favorite bacon, Swiss Gourmet Smoked. It doesn't have maple or honey and it's not overly salty. For some, it lacks the essentials of bacon but I love it. Sooo like me right now, I don't have the essentials of being me on a Sunday. I lack booze in my blood stream and I don't have a hang-over. Strange, but I love myself all the same!

Sleeping with Sober

And so the strangeness in my life is seemingly becoming a saga. Today, I woke up feeling strange. And then it hit me: Last night, I absolutely had zero percent alcohol intake. On a Saturday night. I don't think I've ever done this for the past million Saturdays of my grown-up life and my previous grown-up lives. I felt like 5 again last night: sipping a very comforting cup of hot chocolate at home. 

A five year old listening to Erotic Lounge. 

Ok, so I was just a normal grown up opting not to get hammered on a weekend.

The Unexpected Feeling

I think my system has not yet gotten used to the fact that I'm on vacation with no strings attached.

Since June, when I was informed that the company was closing, I've been looking forward to these worry-free moments.

And now it's just so strange. But it's the not-so-bad-strange type of feeling. Still, I wanna get rid of all the strangeness.


Maybe I was so used to the idea that: even when I'm skipping work or calling in sick and just staying happily at home or drinking in a bar at 2PM, I know there are still tasks to do, phone calls to make, emails to reply to, decisions to be made, all waiting for me when I get back.

Now there's nothing waiting for me. And still the sense of urgency persists.

Unexpected feelings always make me chaotic and twirly.

I Don't Miss My Desk

Not at all. But I wanted to take it home. Then somebody else bought it. And over the weekend I forgot all about my desk. Zilch. 

It feels so strange to be at home on a Monday. Knowing that there are no responsibilities waiting for me on my office desk. Because there is no more office desk. And there is no more office.

I guess calling in sick in order to stay at home on a Monday is different than being unemployed and staying at home on a Monday. The first is just a wee bit more naughty, hence, fun.

This is the first time I've been unemployed in 10 years. It's soo relaxing and yet there's a force within that's urging me to do something productive. And I thought I already wanted to retire and do nothing. 

The Ant Bully/ FB Impostor

Ok. So I'm crushing down and annihilating the resident red ants who seem to be drawn by the creme de menthe/brandy cocktail that I'm guzzling. The good thing is, I don't mind (that they want my cocktail or my crumbs or the leftovers even. I want to share the spills and leftovers!). The bad thing is that they are biting me while I'm peacefully getting drunk and watching the late night news! And I have no choice but to kill them using my thumb and forefinger while they're fearlessly nibbling at my thigh. It's like an EDSA uprising right around my left leg, but I'm not in the mood for People, or should I say, Ant Power. C'mon! What have I done wrong? But killing them is making me feel like the mastermind of the Holocaust. (This is why I wish I hadn't bothered to see Ant Bully). :(

On another note and forgetting I'm masterminding the Holocaust of Red Ants, I arrived home tonight, turned on the laptop and out of habit, pulled up Firefox, only to see that the saved tab that popped out was my sister's logged on FB page. (SHE FORGOT TO LOG OUT!) And, being the good sister that I am (HAHAHAHAH!), just couldn't resist: I posted something on her account's wall, something that sounds like: My sister (tag)Celeste Opolentisima, is the coolest human being on earth!

Imagine my surprise when 4 friends of hers liked it and one friend commented "no doubt!".

Ahahahaha! I love you guys!!!

But my conscience won over the overwhelmingly flattered-type of feelings I was experiencing and I had to call her around midnight just to tell her what I did to her FB account PLUS! the great response from some of her FB friends.

We laughed and laughed and laughed. She wasn't mad. Why would she be? At least I did not announce to the whole world she was a transvestite, right?  Which is sooo not true and downright mean. At least my pretending-to-be-her post had some truth in it. Why else would her friends like it? Hahahahha!

But no doubt she will learn to log out of FB the next time she uses my lappy. Just like she has learned to wear closed shoes during wash days at USC. I will share the shoe-story to those who are clueless the next time I'm in the mood. HAHAHAHAHA!

I love you Monlat!!! You are such a super2x, gorgeous sister!

Oath to a Weekend Extension

I promise not to sit on my butt all day just so I can complete all levels of a time management game.

I promise to clean the house, do the dishes and maybe a bit of laundry too.

I promise to segregate my make-up and give to Lovely all that I don't need and to throw away unused lipsticks and eyeshadow which I have kept for the past 5 years.

I promise to dance, dance, dance via dance revo with disco inferno on the side.

I promise to watch the pilot episode of Magkaribal. Hahaha!

I promise not to avoid thinking about what needs to be thought about and just go with the flow. And sing those Sex God songs.

I promise myself a cheerful day and a hedonistic night. 

But I'm still confused as to what time I should start to booze.

No Maid, All Maids

So, I successfully hosted two parties by myself at the brothel. Now that I'm in my own place, I thought it's gonna be tiring to try to be a good hostess. But as it turns out, I'm still soo not. Which means, I had so much fun.

Somebody peeled all the shrimps, somebody poured the beers, somebody mixed the cocktails, somebody took the trash, somebody brought the ice, somebody bought the beer, somebody ordered pizza, somebody provided dinner, somebody carried the cooler.

Of course, aside from making that cheesy, beefy dip, I'm also stuck with cleaning the brothel and doing the dishes. But I'm not complaining. Due to bad hostess-type attitude, my parties rocked! \m/

Cleaning Lady

Cleaning Lady

Sweeping out the remnants of yesterday's chaos and getting ready for another one at 3PM. Happy times, happy times although I think it's not for everyone. And I'll leave it at that.

Sometimes the ants are so stupid. They feast on spills and flavorful stains and completely ignore an open  bag of chips right there on the floor.

Yes, I enjoyed the girl talk with bestie Astrid last night. It's been too long since I had one that I really enjoyed. It's mostly guy talk that I deal with but I can't say I'll ever tire of that. Although there was one time at dinner when I wanted to bail because they started talking about the sizes of their appendages and this other guy told us outright the accurate measurement of his. Interesting conversation there, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but, good grief!

Mondays are Bittersweet

Saturday Night:

It was the first real PTPH Dissolution Bash. And as expected, everyone had a blast. Although I got sooo wasted that I forgot what some of what happened during the later parts, I knew everything was perfectly fun. Because I woke up with a happy buzz!

Sunday:

First time being part of a campaign. But it was for mommy. So. The rain and the embarassment of having to talk face to face with strangers was worth it. I wanted to sing and dance but we lacked the resources so it was just pure PR and some fliers.

Mondays this month so far:

An indentical twin of last monday. But because of the difference of activities, let's go for fraternal.

Last Monday:
Termination report for group K. Computation of Quit Claim for Group B. The rest of the week was about me helping to do something to help the company close ASAP.

So this Monday:

Payroll, preparing stuff for Quit Claims (schedule was 5 working days after termination but we did it 1 working day after) managing clearances from gvt. agencies.

Thank goodness for friends like Paul, Jess and Ronel who wanted me to take a break and have dinner.

And the Cap/ MW/ DG/ Bold Star for letting me have a good time/ private party at the home front. And being BARTENDER when I don't wanna get up to mix stuff. :)

The Invasion of the Ultimate Nasties

The Ok-ok Buster is busily exterminating roaches outside the back door. There are literally HUNDREDS! Good grief! Can they smell my loathing-slash-fear that's why they're taunting me??? Our back area is CLEANER than most places here in Cebu City! I'm permanently shuddering in disgust! And frantically looking behind my back and above and left and right and down below every 10 seconds. And perpetually on the On Your Mark Position in case some undesirables penetrate the interior. Nightmare!!!

Hiatus Over and Out

And I'm baaack. I got off blogging for a bit because I don't wanna publish grief online. And that time I was gone was all about grief. Well, I'd rather express mine while spending time with people who matter most, rather than for all the world to see. Anyhooo, I'm really, really ok and I've already thanked those who surrounded me and continue to do so, my family, the life partners and the not-fair-weather friends of mine. :*

Last night was Monday Private Party with the Cap. We binged on brandy, him with lemon iced-tea, me with creme de menthe. I was surprisingly entertained by the Last Airbender movie. Or maybe not surprisingly. Coz when it comes to entertainment I'm so easy to please. I even get so amused by the resident black ants in my apartment. They happily guzzle alcoholic spillage and then roam about wildly or just doze off right then and there. Sometimes I feel really sad when Domestic God just kills them all with a single swipe of a towel. Although at certain occasions, some of them do suicide mission and jump right into my cocktail.

Also, so disappointed to know right now that the steamed corned grits c/o Domestic God is already stale and smelly. I'll just have Mr. Chips with my 3 strips of bacon. Oooweee! \m/

Me-time Discovery

So I spent my afternoon at the Designated Smoking Area of TGI Friday's, where during  the next 4 hours I was sipping the most orgasmic Mojito by far in the city (having surpassed my own concoction), nibbling on chicken quesadilla, smoking and reading. I really wanted to do all of these al fresco, just like all my previous visits, but it was drizzling a bit outside. So indoors it was. 

Then I realized that I was the only girl in a room filled with foreign men. Had it not been for the book and my shawl covering my golden globes, some of them would have prolly thought I was the Whore of Babylon. Whatever.

Anyhoo, the quesadilla, the mojito, the beer, the service, everything in there was impeccable. The Designated Smoking Area of TGI Friday's is now another favorite place to hang out with my self, next to East West IT 2nd floor smoking area. Yipeeee!  

Sense of Direction

Wandering aimlessly in ayala, with the newly-purchased The Lost Symbol in my purse, confused as to where the best place would be to start reading. Some place where sodexo was accepted. And where the JUDGMENTAL won't find me to make undesirable conversation. While I wait for the crazy sibs to meet me and visit Lola B at the hospital.

I passed by Forme, a plus-sized shop and could not help but notice that I used to be slimmer than their mannequins. Haha.

Went to apple store to check out the new iPod Touch. No stocks yet.

Finally, I gave in to the magnetic pull of TGI Friday's Mojito. Classic first and then Apple and nazdrave to my Bulgarian friend Lyubo, who loves the stuff more than I do.

Pee Nuts

Sigh. If only there were trees, bushes, wilderness, forests, etc. near the guard on duty... 

Sometimes I hold my pee until the very last minute because I hate to do the deed in the now common toilets of the office. For one thing, the toilets smell soo funky now that PT's utility personnel are not in charge of sanitation anymore. For another and more importantly, I am scared shit.

It's because there is no security guard manning the toilets and I don't trust the other tenants we are sharing the toilets with. I'm not judging these people by their looks but by the stranger factor. Who knows what he or she is going through on a given work day and suddenly goes ballistic in the vicinity.

What's worse, my access card takes forever to register in order to be granted entry back to the office. So after pee time, I am always frantic: pushing my access card all around the sensor while constantly and fearfully looking over my shoulder or up the unfinished ceiling just in case some psycho suddenly strikes, while my heart is beating a hundred miles a minute.

God, all the suffering I have to go through just to go to the loo.

Monday is Now An Excuse

It used to be that Mondays can totally eat away my happy buzz. I could barely muster up a scrap of motivation to haul myself out of bed at noon and prep for work. I mentally moaned and whined all day long about why my weekend had to end. I go to sleep wrapped in bitter sobriety. (I rarely got hammered on Monday nights unless under very significant circumstance i.e birthday, depressed friend, etc.)

Come Tuesdays, though, I'm usually over the drama. Still, I was already fed up with the recurring negativity that is Monday.

And then a few months ago, I had an epiphany. I can give Monday a make-over!

So, I made my very own Monday Rule. Which is to regard Monday as a weekend-extension. Whether I'm at the warden's lair or out in the world of the free, I vowed to rock Monday like a Friday night, a Saturday or a Sunday. And it totally works. So my new first day of the work week is Tuesday. Which is not Monday. Which is perfect!

My emulate-the-weekend-on-a-Monday activities included:
1. Skipping work and staying at home whole day to do laundry, read a book, listen to music, dance, sleep, drink, sing, etc.

2. Convince the MW to skip work and do one, some or all of the above with me.
3. Skipping work and going to Gerry's Grill and start drinking beer at 2PM.

4. Meet at a bar after work for a few rounds of boozy treats.

5. Party at home after work (i.e. sing, dance, drink, tekken tourney, etc)

Now, I never curse Monday anymore. What's the point? I can't make it illegal, I can't remove it from the calendar, I can't ignore it, I can't fight it.

Bottomline: I made it as an excuse to keep the weekend rockin' for just another day!

What A Vundabar Weekend!

Sunday

Ignored the laundry guiltlessly. But I still woke up early to finish Something Blue, a book which made me a bit teary-eyed. Started drinking Sour Whiskey at 2PM while completing 2nd round of Modern Family's 1st Season. Sucked our cheeks and laughed our heads off 'til midnight and capped another perfect weekend with ice-cold RH. Ooo-la-la.


Saturday Night

No, I wasn't able to headbang my head off to that band doing The Killers covers. I was a bit sick and decided to stay in. But it made no difference at all. My small apartment is a party lair: a dancing den, a karaoke bar, a club, a resto-bar, a concert hall, whatever. So whilst drinking my therapeutic cuba libre, the MW popped in a video of The Killers Live at The Royal Albert Hall. Sure, not the same as the REAL live performance, but it made me unsick and uber-better and a half. Crazier, too. \m/

What The!

OMG! It's soooo unlike me to forget my x-mini and my touch paraphernalia. Instead, I surprisingly realized that I remembered to bring an umbrella! Which for most of my life, is not a necessity at all. What has the world come into? I hope this is just a temporary manifestation of boring grown-uppiness, the kind that I will optionally avoid until I'm 90 above.

Longing For Stuff that Rocks! \m/

I long to go to Prague. And spend a week in Sofia. I long for cockroaches to be instinct. But most of all I long for the all-new iPod touch with 2 of the most awesome features EVER: FaceTime and HD Video Recording. Apple is definitely rockin' it big time. Woohoo. \m/ 

I also long for tomorrow night, where I will literally rock my world. I will go to Handuraw and headbang my head off with that band who's doing The Killers in ways that totally ROCK!

I also long for saku Rock, that bad boy. I wish Tartu was right outside my door.

The Declaration

Today, I declared a holiday for myself. Woot!

But first, I did a bit of grown-up stuff at the bank. Then late lunch at Sunburst, where the MW and I had a chicken wing-fest. Yum.

The MW had to go back to work and I wanted to roam around Ayala, but deemed it too risky and dangerous for my life and well-being. My half-month's earnings are in my purse and I might go a 'lil crazy and spend 'em all on booze, shoes and books. So I decided to go to the bookstore but in total self-control mode and just grabbed these two books that I've wanted to read for a month now. Something Blue and Something Borrowed. And gave my head a virtual pat for not going insane on purchases.

Went home, turned on the AC, curled up with one of the books with my very own compilation of Friday Gold Rush in the background.

And now I'm up and about, multi-tasking: singing to the Killers, playing Diner Dash, blogging and preparing for THE Private Party later and Modern Family marathon. Aaaah, this is life as I know it.

I Love Sperm!

Saturday, August 21

OMG! Sperm is soo cute and funny. We saw him walking along the sidewalk. Heading towards the other house. (He is very, very fab dog, living in two houses and free to come and go as he pleases while terrorizing other dogs on the street along the way.)

And the multi-cab that we were in stopped right in front of him to pick up two more passengers. I called out to him: SPEEERRM! HI SPERM!

He stopped walking and looked towards our direction. Serious tail-wagging going on coz Sperm was so happy and excited to see me. It's been weeks since we last saw each other, as he does not know where my apartment is. Then he ran towards the multi-cab and hopped right in. And refused to get off. The other passengers were kind of frightened. So, we had to carry him out of the multi-cab and back to the sidewalk. Sorry, Sperm.

Drunken Wisdom

So I am drunk. And I am sleeping over for the 2nd night in a row at my childhood home. Which is due to the disconnection of my electricity. Fortunately, it's not the biological one. Unfortunately, it's the real power disconnection courtesy of VECO. I have my grown-up justification for this unfortunate event. But that's a another loooong story.

So yes, it's so childish to be seeking the comfort of mommy, grandma and siblings. But I don't think it's necessary for one to be cooped up in darkness and heat and fear just so one would be called grown up and responsible human woman. No way, yaya. Hahaha.

But I am no Girl Scout and my sleep-over is essentially lacking. (lappy mouse, external storage with funny movies and tv series, etc). So, in order to sleep in this old-slash-new environment, alcohol is imperative. And so is listening to my infinite playlist. And thinking. And drinking. Hard. And I'm feeling drunkenly eloquent.

So I saw my sister's glass slipper and thought: (but of no relevance to my sister's life)

"Yeah, that's your glass slipper alright. But it sure as hell doesn't fit you anymore."

Also, I remembered all my loss in the past year and came up with this:

"After losing a cam, an ipod touch and a laptop, the moral lesson is to always backup!!! But also this; it's better to have good memories than to not remember what the backups are all about. ;-)"

Then, I remembered someone I really do not like and my mind was like:

"Fuck the 18 generations of your ancestors."

The last one is not original but I think it's apt and direct to the point. But only if my intended audience is intelligent as well and know what it truly means.

Coz I sure as hell don't wanna fuck the 18 generations of that person's ancestors. And before and after the 18 generations too. No way. :))))))

It's Amazing How a Lot can Happen in Less Than 24 Hours

One of the LPs told me she'd french-kiss me if the idea wasn't incestous at all. 

Then I tripped over my own 4-inch wedge, fell on my butt, then on my back with my two feet raised. 

My electricity got disconnected. 

I saw two persons lying injured on the street, a few moments after they were hit by a cab. 

Plus I learned that a mojito can also mean male-stripper in Bulgaria. So if I say I want a mojito, I'm actually hitting two birds with one stone. I'd get a hot soon-to-be-naked guy and a cool alcoholic drink. Oooo-lala.

On the Brighter Side

FORMO's 5th anniversary promo included San Mig Light and Mojito for only P5. From 6PM to 9PM. 

Because of that awesome offering, I was there for 3 days straight. It was literally a chug-fest to the highest level and a half. 

Unfortunately, it ended last Sunday. As the song goes, some good things never last.

Mystery of the Thievery

So, my company-issued laptop got stolen from FORMO last Thursday. It was a very, very frustrating experience for me. Coz I placed it in what I thought was the safest place to be.Under the table.Apparently, I was wrong.

But hey, it would cause mass hysteria if a person would suddenly swoop down and take it and  run.

Anyhoo, it was under the table and right by my feet so that I can just kick it in a gentle manner on a regular basis for reassurance purposes. But the next time I gave my laptop a nudge, my toes bumped right into the table stand! 30 minutes after sitting down and NO MORE LAPTOP! It was like black magic! Grrrrrrrrr!

I was sitting at the head of a small table and I was flanked by Ian Z and Monica. I wasn't drunk, I did not leave the table and we never noticed anything out of the ordinary. Except two suspicious-looking dudes who looked out of place but they never went near.

That thievery is one of the greatest mysteries on the planet. And to whoever took it, I admire his/her/their guts and cunning but I really, really hope with all my heart that he/she/they will die a painful death.

Long Distance Drunk Affair

Last night. 

Whilst drinking beer and cuba libre...

I had this very, very awesome call all the way from Bulgaria. Ani, my crazy, international bestie phoned just to tell me that they were drinking Rakia and beer for me. I was totally touched but sooo jealous at the same time. Rakia and beer for me are among the best boozy combos in the world.

I was really, really, really happy to hear from 'em so I told them "Chestita Nova Godina" or as we say in English "Happy New Year!"

Hahahahaha!

A Short Tale About the Lizard with No Tail

So aside from the black puppy hanging outside my front door (coz the other two mysteriously disappeared and I like to think they were given away to loving and caring humans and let's leave it at that), there's another poor soul dwelling in my apartment. This time on the ceiling: a lizard without a tail who I've dubbed as Lizzie the Lizard. He's been around for about 5 days now. Sometimes he crawls about really quick and then he always return to the same spot on the corner, right above the bar. And stay there for hours. I think he stares at me.

Maybe he wants booze and is jealous of all the black ants getting drunk on the spills of vodka and creme de menthe. I like to watch 'em wobble all over the surface of the bar counter. Others are totally immobilized with intoxication. I don't drive 'em away, I enjoy getting drunk with those silly ants.

Anyhoo, back to Lizzie the Lizard. I heard that the lizard's tail is its defense mechanism. I think Lizzie is here under my nurturing roof to recuperate and be up and about again and eat the creepy crawlies. I wonder what happened to his tail.

It Must be Hate

Woke up again this morning to the sound of the neighbors' shouting match. As usual, it went on and on and on. What the hell is wrong with these people?

This time the topics covered were mostly about death (mamatay unta ka), a bit of  home and gadget (layas dire, ibilin na ang cellfone), one mention about sex and family (kayata aning pamilyaha oi) and finally, prostitution (burikat ka).

I wanted to tell the person who was called a prostitute not to worry. If she is actually a prostitute, then for her, love is always just around the corner. Hahahahaha!

Rock On! \m/

One of the best beers on earth

I just luuurve my Rock glass, just as much as I love the Rock beer. It makes all beers taste vundabar, even room temperature Red Horse.

But the Rock beer and the Rock glass are always perfect together. Makes sense, since both are made for each other.

I miss the beer. And Tartu. And Gunpowder Cellar.

I Love My Hair

Even when it's scaring me.

It's the 2nd time this week that I freaked out because something was crawling on my skin, only to find out that that it was just actually my hair.

My apartment is near to a mini wilderness that's why I always stumble across some creepy crawlies creeping and crawling inside the house.

I don't mind much except if they start flying and/or heading for my direction.

And as long as they're not the mortal enemies.

Speaking of which, I still can't get over the traumatic events of Thursday night. A total of 7 huge cockroaches and all of them were flying about. Soooo gross plus one. I will never go back to that place again, ever.  

And there was the fact that the MW was very specific about me not causing a scene. I did not, because the waitresses were very adept at reaching for 'em once they land on the walls and then killing 'em. The last straw was when another was flying in our direction. I ran towards the exit, leaving everything behind --- lappy, ipod, beer, cash, the MW and all. 

Buzz Off, Dimwit

SOMEBODY passed by me earlier and asked me if I'm not at home yet, like: "Are you not at home yet, Celest?"

Hellooooooo! I'm right in front of him! And a whole lot of kilometers away from my apartment. I just shook my head without looking at him, like he was asking a normal, boring question. And used all of my will-power not to tell him: "Actually, I'm at home right at this very moment and it's just my holographic image that you're talking to."

But his being a dim-wit seems to be critical in nature, so why bother?

Elevator Erotica

I wish! Hahahahaha!

Because, OMG!!! There was an American (I think) hottie (definitely!) in the elevator and it took all of my willpower not to turn around and wink at him. Or stare. Or drool. Then he asked me and the other girl where we worked. I looked at him and I could feel my under-thingies practically falling off. I said the PT thing in hopefully was an uber-cool manner. The other girl was apparently brain-dead and in heaven, as she wasn't able to utter a single thing. Then, the elevator doors opened to reveal my floor. And it seemed I was not yet completely giddy and spasmodic inside coz I was able to hurriedly ask him where he works.

And it's at:  **** , somewhere above 12th Floor. Hurrraaaay and triple-yum!!!!

Maybe they have a job opening there. Hahahaha!

How to Combat Office Depression

Maybe I'm not cut out to be an HR person. Here I am on a work day and drinking beer. But very, very responsibly.

Meaning, I'm having my 4th beer at East West and doing my HR duties and responsibilities at the same time. In a very competent manner.

Because I am very competent at drinking beer and I am very competent when it comes to my professional tasks.

It' just that I'm having office depression. It is now just one big and almost empty space. I'm not used to it just yet.

There's only the two of us here in their smoking room. It's sooo cold and cozy with all the throw pillows and lounging chairs. We're listening to the Road Trippin' playlist and I'm singing "Candy" and "Caribbean Blue" at the top of my lungs. My voice must have traveled all the way to Mooon. I'm not sure, but I am.

And he is drifting off to sleep as we speak. Indeed, my voice is a very, very soothing phenomenon. Hahahahahaha!

Prisoner's Day-off

Today, I'm skipping the Warden's Lair altogether. Yeeaaahh, freedom!

What to do, what to do?

First, I'm gonna finish off all levels of Pet Shop Hop. 2 more levels to go, and I'm through with this stupid game. Hahahaha!

Then, I'm gonna do some manic dancing for 1 hour.

Afterwhich, I'm gonna try to jailbreak the touch. There's already one for OS4. Hallelujah and a half!!! Hope this works.

Later, the LPs and I will go to Baka's for Ethan's birthday dinner. And prolly create chaos that will shake their neighborhood.

Can't waiteeeeee! 

And maybe much, much later, around midnight, when I'm all boozy, I'm going to cry. Coz a much bigger dog mangled one of the pups living outside my door. If that poor, b

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Something just crawled on my arm!!! But it was just my hair. Pheewww. 

Anyhoo, as I was saying, if that poor black puppy dies I will hunt that criminal dog/puppy murderer and cook the bastard. But I will not eat it. Nope, not gonna happen. 

Barely Awake

Today, all I wanted to do was dance. But I have to show up at the Warden's Lair for grown-up responsibilities. And so I spent the entire prison day trying my bestest not to fall asleep and crash my head into my lappy. But it's almost time for freedom and tonight, I'm heading to Margaritaville. There, I will dance in my under thingies and nothing else. Wooohoooo!

It Must be Ugly but I'm Laughing So Hard

I woke up to the sound of my neighbors in an uber-furious shouting match. And it went on and on and on for about an hour. In the throes of anger, they can certainly cover a lot of topics from prostitution (burikat ka!), lesbianism (ikaw, tomboy!), economics (wa kay kwarta! wa kay natabang dire), education (ni undang kag skwela), unemployment (unya wala kay trabaho), kids (layas dire dalha na imong anak), a lot of diseases (peste, atay, cholera), animals in general (animal ka, animal!) and the devil himself (yawa ka!).

The nastiness of it all borders on comedy. Hahahaha! With awakenings like this, who needs coffee? 

Oh, I still do.

On Second Thought...

Yes, I'm having second thoughts about this whole Prague-Ireland-Tartu-Bulgaria-etc. business coz I'd really miss my bar and my bamboo lamp.

At least the life partners and the crazy family and the rest of the besties can Skype me anytime. I cannot interact with my bar and my bamboo lamp if I'm overseas. On webcam, we will just stare at each other and do nothing.

Oh, we'll see.

Sunday Morning Rain is Falling

Steal some covers share some skin.

Anyway, enough singing, that's not even part of my Sunday playlist. It doesn't feel completely like Sunday unless I hear the mix of classics, mushy and country. Some of the songs really suck but I love 'em on Sunday. On any other day, sometimes these songs make me wanna blow my brains out.

But they're always perfect for Karaoke. And me singing them when I'm annoyed with the neighbors and it's payback time.

I'm playing something called Pet Shop Hop. All the strategizing will qualify me for international spy work. Hahahahaha!

And drinking last night's leftover beer. It lost a bit of its soul so I poured creme de menthe and added some ice. And voila, it's alive again. Oh yeah!

Prague in My Mind

Definitely. Maybe. And Georgia, too. Then settle down in Ireland. For good. And spend some of vacations days in Tartu and a whole lot in Bulgaria. And the rest of the world.

I'll set myself loose in Europe. Yeah, baby!

International Pervert

It started out with schnell schneller vundabar; German stuff taught to me by those crazy Bulgarians and now I'm like an international pervert with my vast knowledge of swear-words in Bulgarian. Among others.

Of course this rude enlightenment did not come to me naturally, like an immaculate conception. After a certain BG hottie gave me a link to a site filled with rude Bulgarian words, I was hooked and went on to discover the Hebrew, Czech, Estonian, etc. counterparts.

Next week, I can prolly curse like a sailor in 15 different languages. But I'll never know how to order coffee when I go to Prague because the only Czech words I know would be hovno and peecha. Hahahaha!

Midnight Apocalyptic Flooding Thingy

Shiiiiiit! Fuuuccckkk! Double merde, sacre bleu and craaaaaapp! My kitchen sink's hose suddenly snapped and all this water started pouring out. In torrents.

At first, I was like: What's that sound, what, what, what, what and Where is it coming from, where, where, where, where?!? And suddenly the Apocalyptic Flood started flowing in between my toes.

And bringing the oceans, lakes and rivers into my home and underneath the Orgasmic Bar via my sink's nether regions. This time, my Bar is not feeling vundabar at all. (coz the vundaBAR is made of wood and water will just make it fragile/collapsible. hahahaahah)

Twenty-five minutes later: The flood was contained; the leak and overflow were halted but there was flood management and floor drying being done at midnight. With tools including rugs, old newspapers, dirty laundry and useless cloths. But still, and I know for certain: it's still wet under the bar. PistingYawaAtay.

All the same, danke to the man whore/ miracle worker. :)

But I'm still shaken to the core.

Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck.

All in a Name

How can one just look at a person's NAME and one gets butterflies in one's stomach? It's so strange. And looking at that person's PHOTO may cause one to have tingling bodily spasms. And someday, the person appearing in person would make one end up unconscious. And ecstatic.

No, this is not from personal experience/feelings. Hahahahaha

Good Morning, Baby

It's waaay toooo early to rise and shine and be up and about. I'm very, very confident that somewhere in this world, it's still happy hour. So maybe I can quickly chug a few shots to help me go back to sleep. It's 6AM and I feel very much awake. Good grief.

Attack of the Centipede

I accidentally stepped on the drain while taking a shower this morning. When I noticed the small flood, I also saw a centipede about 2 inches long swimming toward me. AAAAAAAAAAAAH! I ran for my life.

Well, I had to go back to the bathroom. There's no chance I'm going out to the world out there without a complete shower. And with soap suds all over.

I took a peek and there was the monster, resting on the lower part of the bathroom wall. It must be tired after all that swimming-slash-trying to attack me escapade. I silently reached out for the bottle of moriatic acid and poured it over the creature. And I watch it shrivel and die before my eyes.

It's so stressful to go through such violence during the start of day.

I feel a bit guilty. I hope it's mama is not the vengeful type.

@ SM and the Cab Driver/Wanna-be Murderer

At SM for some grown-up stuff. I wonder if I can accomplish anything today since my first stop is at Earthweb for some beer.

Yes, I can. 

Anyhoo, I passed by the entertainment center and saw some Mascots (a lion and a cat) doing porno-style dancing in front of pre-school children. While their parents are happily taking pictures of the mascots grinding and humping in front of their kids. WTF. Those kids are gonna be scarred for life. Hahahaha!

On the way to the mall, the cab driver was singing to Guns and Roses blastin from his stereo. It would have been soo cool but he was very reckless and we had 4 close calls. I wonder why he wanted to kill me. I very, very badly want to choke him. The meter stopped at 112.50. I gave him 113 and demanded for my 50 cents. He's so not worth the tip.

Bar Fixation and a Free Day

It's a free day, it's a free day! I'm skipping the warden's lair. Lalalala.

I think I have a bar fixation. I've been staring and/or hovering at mine since I brought it home. It's one of the coolest things I've ever owned. Although, I still haven't found a bar stool that I like. So for now, it's still standing position all the time in the bar premises.

Standing position with bits of Jose, Jack, Margarita and some cheese balls. Ooooh! Sounds so slutty! Vundabar! Hahahaha!

Now I'm off to the living room to have some serious disco inferno rehearsals on my dance pad. Lovely day.

Friday Gold Rush

Listening to my Friday Gold Rush play list. I hate streaming even if it's Y101 coz the connection can get disconnected sometimes. The mix of 80's and 90's hits is perfect for insanity unleashed. One minute it's cool grooving, then mad 80's disco moves, then serious headbanging. Plus non-stop singing. Perfect way to start the weekend.

Grown-Ups, Friday and Tingly Sensations

Hahahah! Grown Ups. One of the best movies. Luuurrrveit. I was still laughing when I woke up. And maybe, also while sleeping.

It's Friday! Obviously. Happy, happy, happy. As usual, I'm seriously planning on skipping the warden's lair (a.k.a prison and a.k.a... you know.) but I'm out of vacation credits. So sad. But still happy!

The tingly sensations are still lingering around even without the SG. My, what a potent drug. Not that I had some. I just looked and sniffed. If I had some, I would be permanently rolling around floors and sidewalks and streets. That's how potent the SG is. Hahahaha.

WTF!

Okay. So I'm really, really pissed-off at Globe Broadband. I surfed via their USB device-thingy for a total of 4 hours. Based on their published rates, I expected to be billed around 80 to 100. Imagine my shock when they told me my browsing charges were around 5000. WTF!

To Skip or Not to Skip, the Poor Pup and Pink Camera

I'm seriously thinking about skipping work today to finish decorating my apartment. And play Crash Bandicoot. But I should go back to sleep and decide later. It's practically just the break of dawn in MY world.

Yesterday:

I was still very, very sad over the death of the two-legged pup that I unofficially adopted. Maybe I should have given it beer instead of milk. It would probably still be up and about today.

And also sad over the loss of my pink camera. I hope they're together wherever they are.

Good thing last night, Giovanni and Ian made me laugh and laugh and laugh at the Mooon. All's well that ends well. Nothing that good ol' beer and laughter can't cure.

Prison Break

In less than 10 minutes I will break out of these prison walls and into booze-dom. Because I'm very, very determined to change this dreary Monday to Funday. However, the best solution to Mondays is to make them illegal. For good.

World Cup Violence and Change of Plans

Busy, busy, busy, busy. Well what can you expect from Monday?

What's worse, I feel like my super powers are depleted today, due to lack of sleep. Just to cheer for the Dutch, I slept around 4AM. The Nederlands must hold a terrible grudge against España! They were kicking the shins, the chest, the knees, etc of their opponents instead of the ball. I decided to go to sleep. It wasn't part of my plan to stay up so late just to be subjected to all that violence.

I was planning to rehydrate and detoxify my system from all the booze I've been chuggin' the past few weeks. Then Ian asked me if I wanna go drinking later. Hell, yeah!

Because I can always rehydrate and detoxify tomorrow. But who knows when the world will run out of beers, right? There might be hops-shortage or malt-shortage or whatever-they-put-to-make-beer shortage tomorrow. For all I know, alcohol will be on world-wide ban tomorrow. So I say, do not put off for tomorrow what you can drink today.

Beaching Around

I've been beaching around the islands all summer and in between. Pandanon, Mactan, Bantayan, Malapascua, Olanggo, Pandanon again, Panglao, Bantayan again and this will go on and on for the rest of the year. Woohoo! I look and feel like a Cerveza Negra. All dark and boozy. I luuurrrve it.

Patka-less Moments

Yesterday:

After three straight weekends of beaching around, it feels strange that I'm having booze on a Saturday, and I can't hear the sound of the waves nor feel the heat caused by the tropical-by-the-beach-type climate and by another heat source.  It also feels strange to be boozing about without talking about gulyama patka, duha, OOOO cotyo, schnell, schneller vundabar. And oh, coorrr! Those bloody Bulgarians! We hit it off really fast and I miss them terribly. Hahahahaha!  :D

Sweat

How come, when one is in the presence of one's Sex God, one sweats like a camel in heat coz of all that walking across the desert. So sad. Sex God is all godly and godful while looking at a sweaty being and maybe thinking all the while like: "wow! the being is sweating like a sweaty being". So sad. And so unfair to the sweaty being ogling at the Sex God and the Sex God can just look at the being's shiny-with-sweat forehead and see his reflection there. And then he might say: "Wow, I so look like a Sex God" hahahhahahaha!

Johnny, Jamaican Rum and Staying In Weekender

I am having brandy with creme de menthe after that Jamaican rum and Johnny Walker Black that beloved relatives brought right here all the way from the US and Castle Shop. I have to wake up around 5AM tomorrow. I am typing and thinking like a robot or a drunken bitch. Guess I'm a drunken bitch. I did not go out with the favorite guys coz I am woozy. I am excited to go to Bantayan Island tomorrow. I am drunk, Night, soon.

Fish and Chips and Underwear

Went to Mark's big sale to see my BFF Baka. Then I got myself some new boyleg knickers to wear when I'm dancing. At home, of course. And also a tin of their Curiously Strong Mints. They're really strong but I'm not at all curious as to why.

Went to Patio Ecila after for fish 'n chips. It was sad that they did not have peppercorn sauce. It tastes good on everything! A bottle of beer would've been vundabar, too but I don't wanna end up feeling wozzy for tonight's maniac-type dancing that I'm planning to do after I attend my future uncle's birthday dinner. And I can't wait to see my cousin Arianne, the cutest little girl in the world.

Bed of Laundry

And that exactly is what I'll be lying on tonight. Too tired and sleepy to fold the stuff. Who isn't after taking wooze-inducing anti-histamine pills and 2 liters of beer, the strong stuff. Can't help it, even when infinite-looping OMG by Usher featuring Will.I.Am.

Rainy Day and Monday; Pandanon and the Teeny Weeny

Well it is. And it really was. It is a rainy Monday and it was a teeny weeny. And I skipped work altogether.

But not because of yesterday's hopping activity. It was exhausting and boozy but fun and sunny. I slept around 8PM, that's practically noontime on my biological clock! Woke up at the break of dawn, 6AM, but obviously, I have more pressing matters to attend to today to be bothered with going to work.

Yesterday.

@ Mactan Waters

Our Bulgarian friends luuurrrve the sand and sea.

One guy had to borrow Giovanni's too-large board shorts because he wanted to swim but not in the birthday suit. He emerged from the boat's modesty nook (hiding place where one gets to dress undress etc) like he's from Hawaii wearing a flowery skirt. But as real men go, he was all male wearing it. He just had to tighten the cords so that he won't accidentally leave the shorts behind while wading through the waters.

@ Pandanon Island

We docked and got off Pandanon to spend the whole afternoon there. Miss V was like the sun goddess, all gorgeous and golden under the sun whole afternoon. People actually thought she was some sort of American celebrity.

But the waters were too shallow. And we couldn't risk swimming really far out in case the water gets suddenly too deep. So I just pretended to swim and drown by crouching and crawling around on the seabed.

And while a Japanese guy played around with his Pinay girlfriend, they made his penis come out, right in front of everyone. WTF! Sadly, it was too small and pathetic. I think it was embarassed, because it couldn't be bothered at all to look happy and energetic while it was being subjected to my judgemental views.

We almost ran out of booze, but for a scandalous price, we can have some men buy beer at the next island.

On the way back to mainland Mactan, most of us had one last dip in the deep blue. 

I just wish I could get that teeny weeny out of my head.

Twix and Overcast

Crap, it's raining. The sky is gray and overcast. I hope it's sunshiny over there in the islands while we hop around them. Good thing I miraculously discovered a Twix in my tiny refrigerator. I'm craving for one and voila! It's sooo like magic and christmas and sunshine and all. And off I go to hop hop hop.

So Many Things To Do, So Little Time

The queen of multi-tasking (a.k.a ME) is at it again. I'm reading no. 8 of Georgia's confessions while tending to the Gunpowder Cellar, my Cafe World joint, playing Governor of Poker and preparing stuff for tomorrow's outing. Oh, and I'm also blogging. And drinking Red Horse and eating Pringles. 

Ok. I should catch some zzzzzzzzzzs. I have to be bright and shiny by 6am.

Wearing Bunny Ears While Buying 54 Bottles of Beer

Went to SM to get more of those silly head bands that I lurrrve soo much. Wore the pink bunny ears one all arount town. A lot of abnormal people stared. IG-nored.

Kamai Kainan's beefsteak is soooo good. Tender, saucy and peppery. Yum yum yum.

New stuff on the racks that I just couldn't resist: Cheeto's Cheddar Jalapeno crunch thingy and Pringles Extreme in Blazin Buffalo Wing flavor.  Plus a 3-pack of my favorite Kinder Bueno and some Choco Knots. I lurrrve. And no, I'm not gonna eat everything tonight. Meaning, I'm all set for the rest of the June rainy days. Like an ant. And this ant is also craving for Twix.

Finally to Country Mall to horde on Supplies for Survival (a.k.a. booze) for tomorrow's big island hopping escapade. Big because our Bulgarian friends have never experience what it's like to hop around the islands. They're such a fun lot to be around. Can't wait to hop with them.

Insane Dancers

Dawn.

Insanity unleashed at the Penthouse. One guy has the craziest dance moves ever. I've met my match on the dance floor.

Moooning

Last night.

Funny conversations with the BG friends. One guy wants to go to Manila via boat. I told him if that's the case then I'll see him in a week.

And Then I Got Flowers. Among Others.

Yesterday.

The Bulgarian Colleagues were so sweet. The flowers were some of the most beautiful (literally) stuff I ever received. I've been staring at them. (the flowers, not the Bulgarians) They even started to sing Happy Birthday in Tagalog. (The Bulgarians, not the flowers) Hahahaha! I felt like a celebrity and also winner of a beauty pageant. And I wanted to have a group hug. But they might find it strange.

ohlala

Ramsie gave me one of my most favorite chocolates in the whole world, peppermint-filled Cadbury. I wasn't able to have lunch or breakfast so I stuffed it all in my face.

And I have to hand it to Ardie. He doesn't smoke at all but he managed to find me some Black Bats flavored with my favorites: Vanilla and Mint. It's like having a smoke whilst enjoying aromatherapy. Marlboro Red has definitely got some rivalry going on.

And Hazel brought me some cotton candy, yum yum yum. So sweet. The gifts and my close, close friends from the office.

Almost There In the State of Drunken Stupor.

If an apocalyptic flood would be like the birthday greetings you dumped on my wall and in my inboxes, it would result in good vibes all over the earth and will prolly cause world peace. If that’s the case, then it wouldn’t be called apocalyptic at all. I love you people for the non-memory gap state of mind regarding my birthday. I am drunk to the drunkest degree but I will never forget this. Coz I will just scroll down my wall tomorrow. And I guess it would be a “like a virgin” syndrome. (the bit where Madonna sings “touched for the very first time")  Hahahaha!  I have such a big smile that I could swallow my face. Let's celebrate! Let’s not wear underwears!!! Weeeee! :D

Birthday Bucket List

It's a free day, a free day, my birthday. I'm still too overwhelmed and sleepy to respond to the apocalyptic flood of birthday wishes on my inbox and FB wall. I love the people for not havin' memory gap about this. The day stretches ahead deliciously. And here is my itinerary:

1. Turn the AC back on and take a post-waking-up-nap.

2. Wake up again for the 2nd time this morning.

3. Dance! Dance! Dance!

4. Spiked Coffee and a marlboro.

5. Extra long shower with the works. (shampoo, condition, exfoliate, sing)

6. Brunch. Prolly left-over pizza.

7. Bit of shopping.

8. Dinner with the crazy family

9. Will enter and dwell for a while in the State of Drunken Stupor, a free country where one can do silly things such as modeling one's entire collection of silly hats and headbands while one is dancing and singing and maybe doing a declamation piece.

10. This is the part that I won't remember ever. C'elst la vie and Que Celes.

Oh, in between 5 and 6, I'm putting on clothes and doin' a bit of hair and make-up of course. I don't want to go out into the world out there naked and looking like a hag.

Adultery

It's official. I am now 21 years old and on the threshold of grown-uppy land, doing grown-uppy stuff and living the grown-uppy life. 3x a week at the most. :)

Happy birthday to me right now, with pizza and beer and the yummiest exclusive manwhore ever.

Ponderous

Just wonderin' why I'm blogging so much. Is it because of my impending birthday? Or because of my independence day, addiction to manual laundry and/or my obsession at tending to my apartment? Or is it because of the grown-up stuff that I possess due to a lot of grown-up stuff shopping that I've been doing lately? Or is it because of the unknowing generosity of my ISP? Or maybe it's because of the wings of freedom that is in store for every living thing in the universe? Aaaaaaah.

And that's the kind of wisdom brought about by 2 bottles of Strong Ice, 3 bottles of Super Dry, a pint of Red Horse and currently, creme de menthe and brandy. Presidents, Kings, Queens, Prime Ministers, Datus, Rajahs, etc should follow this regimen to gain insight on how to achieve world peace. Peace.

Mouthwatering Matter

Just had a fun dinner at Pizzeria Michael thingy somewhere and it took forever for stuff to be served. But all's well, since the staff was super-courteous, the food was great, I can be a laundry-service provider for a day and spend my earnings there and the beer tasted like any good ol' beer. Plus the mouthwatering matter is so near but cannot be grasped, which is fine because if I had grasped that mouthwatering matter and did erotic-ish stuff to it without its consent, I could be imprisoned for grave offenses.Right?

Let's Meet at Panty

A million things on my mind and then I organized a meeting through MS Outlook with location: Panty.

Monica was like "AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA!" and I was like "WHAT??? WHAT???" and then we're both like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Guess it's weird to discuss serious matters in a panty.

So. Since we're closing and all, the office couldn't be bothered with a conference room so we converted 3/4 of our pantry into an area for grown-up discussions, thus banning food and drinks in the now-business/nosebleed-like corner. 

It could be I'm out of sorts coz of the busyness of my professional being, or R on my lappy simply ignored my pressing press or it could be I have lesbo thoughts of panty because of the hottie. But I'm more attuned to the male hottie, so I would've typed under meeting location: boxers or briefs. If that's the case.

Building Inspector and Comb in the Cab plus Kegels

After having building/ sanitation-inspector duties for half-an-hour or so, I feel so jack-of-all-trades. I did a waitress-type stint last Saturday and since my independence day, I'm also sort of a domestic helper for myself. These are on top of the day job. But I don't want to be a building/ sanitation inspector. The risk of roach attack is too great. 

Anyhoo, in the cab on my way to the office. The driver had bangs-like mustache and glossy hair carefully parted at the side. He kept combing it very carefully with a little comb. Like every two seconds. WTF. Hahahahaha! I gave him a 5-peso tip for entertainment factor.

I love Figaro's tuna melt, thanks to Monica for the heads-up. It's so healthy and mustardeee. I could eat this for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and wouldn't feel guilty downing a million bottles of beer.

If that's the case then I wouldn't bother with her stomach suction tip to attain the nirvana of teeny waistline.

Guess I'll be sticking to Kegel exercises. Now, that's a pleasant kind of suction.

Timely or Untimely and Laundry

It's practically midnight! And I'm wandering around the apartment drinking water and peeing and listening to the neighbor warming up his ten-wheeler truck. The chickens and the dogs and the birds are greeting one another happily. Guess I have to get used to the idea that in this part of the world, 6-ish IS the time to rise and shine and that my almost 3-year old insomnia is officially over. The living room smells like detergent and fabric conditioner. Because laundry is hanging right in there. Don't even ask.

Doggone

It just occurred to me. That's prolly why I've been a dog lover since I was in diapers (although I ate my first pet... Hey! I was still in an age where my parents get to decide what to have for dinner or starve) because I'm .0001% dog. My apartment's tiles are white and it just hit me that my hair is ALWAYS all over the place.

Mega Lashes

I've always willed my eye-lashes to sprout out and multiply and I don't know why. I have this huge fixation for long lashes. I always stare at people who do, regardless of gender or the authenticity of the matter. Unfortunately, mine is short, non-voluminous and just plain sad. Or plain and sad.  I had to shrug off my dislike to lie still while somebody is fussing about something connected to my being and went to the salon to have extensions. I pulled them out a few days later. I can't cry when I'm drunk. I had to bathe delicately. I had to wash my face as if it's made of parchment.  It was really kind of a paralyzed-90-year-old way of living. No sunglasses, no eye-make up, no tossing and turning while sleeping. Unfortunately, when one is drunk, one has no control over one's sleeping movements. One day I woke up and the fakers were all topsy-turvy and not upward curvy. My eyes looked totally tousled and hairy and to think I only have half-an-eyebrow over each one.  Still, all the time I had those mega-watt peepers, I kept staring at myself. And loving what I see. Creepy. And I can't lie. I'm still completely vain about my lashes. Aside from the Maybelline Cat Eyes thingy, I'm also looking into growth serums and stick-ons. We'll see. 

The Mega Horn Effect

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! He strides toward the men's room in a godly sort of way. He soo wanna make me do girlie stuff like bat my eyelashes, flick my hair, giggle and swoon and so on and so forth. And also jump on him, pinch his man-boobies or grab his buns. You know.

M is for... Monday! (yeah right!)

M is for monday, multi-tasking, monica and... hmmmmm...as Georgia Nicolson would say "mega-horn" and let's leave it at that. hahahhaha!

Multi-tasker at her finest. Referring to ME of course. Busily solving work-related problems while busily doing some online shoe-drooling-and-ogling with Monica. Those Jimmy F**ck-me Choos can buy me a 40-inch LCD TV. Hell, an iPhone costs far less. But maybe those shoes cost soo much because even if the stilettos are 50-feet high, one would feel that one is walking on a bunch of clouds rather than on rough asphalt? I wouldn't know, I'm just a Jimmy Choo/ Manolo Blahnik drooler.