Buzz Off, Dimwit

SOMEBODY passed by me earlier and asked me if I'm not at home yet, like: "Are you not at home yet, Celest?"

Hellooooooo! I'm right in front of him! And a whole lot of kilometers away from my apartment. I just shook my head without looking at him, like he was asking a normal, boring question. And used all of my will-power not to tell him: "Actually, I'm at home right at this very moment and it's just my holographic image that you're talking to."

But his being a dim-wit seems to be critical in nature, so why bother?

How to Combat Office Depression

Maybe I'm not cut out to be an HR person. Here I am on a work day and drinking beer. But very, very responsibly.

Meaning, I'm having my 4th beer at East West and doing my HR duties and responsibilities at the same time. In a very competent manner.

Because I am very competent at drinking beer and I am very competent when it comes to my professional tasks.

It' just that I'm having office depression. It is now just one big and almost empty space. I'm not used to it just yet.

There's only the two of us here in their smoking room. It's sooo cold and cozy with all the throw pillows and lounging chairs. We're listening to the Road Trippin' playlist and I'm singing "Candy" and "Caribbean Blue" at the top of my lungs. My voice must have traveled all the way to Mooon. I'm not sure, but I am.

And he is drifting off to sleep as we speak. Indeed, my voice is a very, very soothing phenomenon. Hahahahahaha!

Barely Awake

Today, all I wanted to do was dance. But I have to show up at the Warden's Lair for grown-up responsibilities. And so I spent the entire prison day trying my bestest not to fall asleep and crash my head into my lappy. But it's almost time for freedom and tonight, I'm heading to Margaritaville. There, I will dance in my under thingies and nothing else. Wooohoooo!

World Cup Violence and Change of Plans

Busy, busy, busy, busy. Well what can you expect from Monday?

What's worse, I feel like my super powers are depleted today, due to lack of sleep. Just to cheer for the Dutch, I slept around 4AM. The Nederlands must hold a terrible grudge against España! They were kicking the shins, the chest, the knees, etc of their opponents instead of the ball. I decided to go to sleep. It wasn't part of my plan to stay up so late just to be subjected to all that violence.

I was planning to rehydrate and detoxify my system from all the booze I've been chuggin' the past few weeks. Then Ian asked me if I wanna go drinking later. Hell, yeah!

Because I can always rehydrate and detoxify tomorrow. But who knows when the world will run out of beers, right? There might be hops-shortage or malt-shortage or whatever-they-put-to-make-beer shortage tomorrow. For all I know, alcohol will be on world-wide ban tomorrow. So I say, do not put off for tomorrow what you can drink today.

And Then I Got Flowers. Among Others.

Yesterday.

The Bulgarian Colleagues were so sweet. The flowers were some of the most beautiful (literally) stuff I ever received. I've been staring at them. (the flowers, not the Bulgarians) They even started to sing Happy Birthday in Tagalog. (The Bulgarians, not the flowers) Hahahaha! I felt like a celebrity and also winner of a beauty pageant. And I wanted to have a group hug. But they might find it strange.

ohlala

Ramsie gave me one of my most favorite chocolates in the whole world, peppermint-filled Cadbury. I wasn't able to have lunch or breakfast so I stuffed it all in my face.

And I have to hand it to Ardie. He doesn't smoke at all but he managed to find me some Black Bats flavored with my favorites: Vanilla and Mint. It's like having a smoke whilst enjoying aromatherapy. Marlboro Red has definitely got some rivalry going on.

And Hazel brought me some cotton candy, yum yum yum. So sweet. The gifts and my close, close friends from the office.

Let's Meet at Panty

A million things on my mind and then I organized a meeting through MS Outlook with location: Panty.

Monica was like "AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA!" and I was like "WHAT??? WHAT???" and then we're both like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Guess it's weird to discuss serious matters in a panty.

So. Since we're closing and all, the office couldn't be bothered with a conference room so we converted 3/4 of our pantry into an area for grown-up discussions, thus banning food and drinks in the now-business/nosebleed-like corner. 

It could be I'm out of sorts coz of the busyness of my professional being, or R on my lappy simply ignored my pressing press or it could be I have lesbo thoughts of panty because of the hottie. But I'm more attuned to the male hottie, so I would've typed under meeting location: boxers or briefs. If that's the case.

Building Inspector and Comb in the Cab plus Kegels

After having building/ sanitation-inspector duties for half-an-hour or so, I feel so jack-of-all-trades. I did a waitress-type stint last Saturday and since my independence day, I'm also sort of a domestic helper for myself. These are on top of the day job. But I don't want to be a building/ sanitation inspector. The risk of roach attack is too great. 

Anyhoo, in the cab on my way to the office. The driver had bangs-like mustache and glossy hair carefully parted at the side. He kept combing it very carefully with a little comb. Like every two seconds. WTF. Hahahahaha! I gave him a 5-peso tip for entertainment factor.

I love Figaro's tuna melt, thanks to Monica for the heads-up. It's so healthy and mustardeee. I could eat this for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and wouldn't feel guilty downing a million bottles of beer.

If that's the case then I wouldn't bother with her stomach suction tip to attain the nirvana of teeny waistline.

Guess I'll be sticking to Kegel exercises. Now, that's a pleasant kind of suction.

The Mega Horn Effect

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! He strides toward the men's room in a godly sort of way. He soo wanna make me do girlie stuff like bat my eyelashes, flick my hair, giggle and swoon and so on and so forth. And also jump on him, pinch his man-boobies or grab his buns. You know.

M is for... Monday! (yeah right!)

M is for monday, multi-tasking, monica and... hmmmmm...as Georgia Nicolson would say "mega-horn" and let's leave it at that. hahahhaha!

Multi-tasker at her finest. Referring to ME of course. Busily solving work-related problems while busily doing some online shoe-drooling-and-ogling with Monica. Those Jimmy F**ck-me Choos can buy me a 40-inch LCD TV. Hell, an iPhone costs far less. But maybe those shoes cost soo much because even if the stilettos are 50-feet high, one would feel that one is walking on a bunch of clouds rather than on rough asphalt? I wouldn't know, I'm just a Jimmy Choo/ Manolo Blahnik drooler.