Mathematical Boundaries

Yeah, i never really pretended to be interested in the intricacies of math. i've always thought that co-tangent is just the soul mate of tangent; i still get mixed up over which sides the symbols of greater-than and less-than should be facing; i think exponents are used to express extreme whatevers like "happiness to the nth power! weee!"; multiplication is the cause of overpopulation;fractions are how you buy lechon if you don't want the whole pig; and volume & percentage are indicators of the speed of a person's transformation from sobriety to tipsiness to drunken stupor! hell yeah! 

Doggone Food and Heavy Petting Stuff

i ate my first pet. his name was gabby and he's a dog. i was barely 4 years old when i ate him. i don't want to dwell on details but back then, i thought it was fine, like eating the pig or chicken we've been feeding for the past 12 months .


and i don't blame nobody from back then cos i think they think it was fine. only when i was about 10 years old did i realize the inappropriateness of it all. plus, a few weeks back, there was a violent reaction  from my boyfriend about this piece of revelation that made me realize once again how taboo my dinner was once upon a time when i was more or less an innocent little toddler. 


but  i'm not here to talk about pets and barnyard animals long gone. i'm here to talk about sperm, the magical dog. he died a day after my dad's funeral. he was a magical dad.


but i'm not here to talk about my dad. i'm really here to talk about sperm. because he seemed human, more human than some people i know.


but i'm not here to talk about those less human people coz they're not worth talking about coz they're less human than most animals, including humans.


i just miss sperm very much. all his funny antics and misadventures along a kilometer strip of the road makes me smile in a silly kind of way. blame it on the goose!

Twilight Zone

The roosters are crowing, the sun is almost rising, the PUJs are on the go and I'm still going hither and thither looking for toilet paper. At quarter to five. Because of course, I gotta pee. 


It's technically 3 days after my birthday, which means the party dust has settled. Or has it? Of course not, coz why else am I still awake at such an ungodly hour? The reason is -- party booze party, of course! And the real reason is:

that wtf moment when you wake up after having had too much to drink that you fell asleep on the couch while watching tv and you can't go back to sleep so you drink some more!


So there. Good morning. I hope i'm not too wtf-upped tomorrow! Coz i have to be productive at work. And i want to be productive with the life partners after! 


So i concluded that if i want my work and my life partners to last forever (life partners are more or less guaranteed though. For work, you just have to get up on time and be productive the rest of the working day.) The good thing about life partners is that you can go out and multiply the fun anytime you're free!


So I don't know what my point is. Helloooo, I'm boozed up so lay off me!


Okay! It's five fuckin' AM!!! Let's make this work!

Freedom Has A Price Tag

And the price ain't money but it's something I can afford to pay off and still enjoy!

Coz I'm enjoying my 9-day break (it started last Saturday and ends this coming Sunday), 5 days of which were given to me freely by the new boss. Oh yeah!

Despite all the pleasant feelings of having all these free time, I can't help but miss:

• My Tycolux officemates
• My 30-inch Mac
• My view from the 6th floor of Keppel
• My ex-boss heehee

Despite the mad dancing and the singing of songs and the rolling around the bed for hours and the 8-hour video marathons and the shopping and the dinner outs and the boozing everywhere, I also can't help but look forward to:

• Starting the new job and getting the paychecks
• The home-based HQ (again!)
• The 8-hour standing position
• The occasional boozy lunch
• The frequent borrowing of office spaces in pubs like Urban Cellar
• Taking my work to the beach front located at least 3 hours away from the city!

Now come to think of it, there is NO price tag. Oooool eeeess GOOOHD!

eenie MEANie moe

For the longest time, I've noticed that there are certain people who either haven't heard about the line "if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all" or they simply just don't like this saying. This is particularly applicable to two general groups:


A. Those we haven't seen in a long time such as classmates, former co-workers and distant relatives 
B. People we see on a regular basis, like co-workers and neighbors. 


When a compliment eludes their brains and a simple hi or hello just won't suffice and keeping their mouths shut is not an option, these people tend to resort to pointing out the negative and/or the obvious about us, no matter how fine, normal and/or fabulous we look. Example: You've gained weight, You've lost weight, Your hair is dry, You're too dark, You're too pale, Your outfit is too flashy, Your outfit is too dull, etc. 


(An exception of course is when a booger is hanging right outside our noses or a piece of broccoli is stuck on our teeth. I would point out such things to the affected party!)


Anyhoo, the point of this post is not because I care what they say. Words and stuff usually don't affect me especially if I don't give a shit about the person saying or doing them. The point of this post is just me wanting to say the following:


If you can't say something nice at all, then be prepared for a mean retort.


Examples:


Distant Relative: Oi, tambuka na nimo oi kabuthonon na man ka! (Hey, you're so fat that you're about to burst!)
Reply: Ikaw murag kamatyonon na man ka oi! Unsa imong sakit? (And you look like you're about to die! OMG! What's the diagnosis?)


Classmate: Na unsa na man na imong buhok oi? Kalkag kaayo! (What's wrong with your hair? It looks soo disheveled!)
Reply: Ikaw kay mao ra gyud gihapun imong histura ay... Tsk, tsk, tsk! (And you look exactly the same... Tsk, tsk, tsk!) - say this with a shake of the head and a pitying look. 


Other Examples of Replies:

• Ikaw pud. (You too)
• Di ba na priso ka? (Were you in prison?)
• Hala, na unsa na imong nawng? (What's wrong with your face?)
• Murag naa lagi gamay nga sayop sa imong retoke. (Something's a bit off with your plastic surgery)
• Mura lagig wa ka naligo ron. (It seems like you haven't showered)