I Love Sperm!

Saturday, August 21

OMG! Sperm is soo cute and funny. We saw him walking along the sidewalk. Heading towards the other house. (He is very, very fab dog, living in two houses and free to come and go as he pleases while terrorizing other dogs on the street along the way.)

And the multi-cab that we were in stopped right in front of him to pick up two more passengers. I called out to him: SPEEERRM! HI SPERM!

He stopped walking and looked towards our direction. Serious tail-wagging going on coz Sperm was so happy and excited to see me. It's been weeks since we last saw each other, as he does not know where my apartment is. Then he ran towards the multi-cab and hopped right in. And refused to get off. The other passengers were kind of frightened. So, we had to carry him out of the multi-cab and back to the sidewalk. Sorry, Sperm.

Drunken Wisdom

So I am drunk. And I am sleeping over for the 2nd night in a row at my childhood home. Which is due to the disconnection of my electricity. Fortunately, it's not the biological one. Unfortunately, it's the real power disconnection courtesy of VECO. I have my grown-up justification for this unfortunate event. But that's a another loooong story.

So yes, it's so childish to be seeking the comfort of mommy, grandma and siblings. But I don't think it's necessary for one to be cooped up in darkness and heat and fear just so one would be called grown up and responsible human woman. No way, yaya. Hahaha.

But I am no Girl Scout and my sleep-over is essentially lacking. (lappy mouse, external storage with funny movies and tv series, etc). So, in order to sleep in this old-slash-new environment, alcohol is imperative. And so is listening to my infinite playlist. And thinking. And drinking. Hard. And I'm feeling drunkenly eloquent.

So I saw my sister's glass slipper and thought: (but of no relevance to my sister's life)

"Yeah, that's your glass slipper alright. But it sure as hell doesn't fit you anymore."

Also, I remembered all my loss in the past year and came up with this:

"After losing a cam, an ipod touch and a laptop, the moral lesson is to always backup!!! But also this; it's better to have good memories than to not remember what the backups are all about. ;-)"

Then, I remembered someone I really do not like and my mind was like:

"Fuck the 18 generations of your ancestors."

The last one is not original but I think it's apt and direct to the point. But only if my intended audience is intelligent as well and know what it truly means.

Coz I sure as hell don't wanna fuck the 18 generations of that person's ancestors. And before and after the 18 generations too. No way. :))))))

It's Amazing How a Lot can Happen in Less Than 24 Hours

One of the LPs told me she'd french-kiss me if the idea wasn't incestous at all. 

Then I tripped over my own 4-inch wedge, fell on my butt, then on my back with my two feet raised. 

My electricity got disconnected. 

I saw two persons lying injured on the street, a few moments after they were hit by a cab. 

Plus I learned that a mojito can also mean male-stripper in Bulgaria. So if I say I want a mojito, I'm actually hitting two birds with one stone. I'd get a hot soon-to-be-naked guy and a cool alcoholic drink. Oooo-lala.

On the Brighter Side

FORMO's 5th anniversary promo included San Mig Light and Mojito for only P5. From 6PM to 9PM. 

Because of that awesome offering, I was there for 3 days straight. It was literally a chug-fest to the highest level and a half. 

Unfortunately, it ended last Sunday. As the song goes, some good things never last.

Mystery of the Thievery

So, my company-issued laptop got stolen from FORMO last Thursday. It was a very, very frustrating experience for me. Coz I placed it in what I thought was the safest place to be.Under the table.Apparently, I was wrong.

But hey, it would cause mass hysteria if a person would suddenly swoop down and take it and  run.

Anyhoo, it was under the table and right by my feet so that I can just kick it in a gentle manner on a regular basis for reassurance purposes. But the next time I gave my laptop a nudge, my toes bumped right into the table stand! 30 minutes after sitting down and NO MORE LAPTOP! It was like black magic! Grrrrrrrrr!

I was sitting at the head of a small table and I was flanked by Ian Z and Monica. I wasn't drunk, I did not leave the table and we never noticed anything out of the ordinary. Except two suspicious-looking dudes who looked out of place but they never went near.

That thievery is one of the greatest mysteries on the planet. And to whoever took it, I admire his/her/their guts and cunning but I really, really hope with all my heart that he/she/they will die a painful death.

Long Distance Drunk Affair

Last night. 

Whilst drinking beer and cuba libre...

I had this very, very awesome call all the way from Bulgaria. Ani, my crazy, international bestie phoned just to tell me that they were drinking Rakia and beer for me. I was totally touched but sooo jealous at the same time. Rakia and beer for me are among the best boozy combos in the world.

I was really, really, really happy to hear from 'em so I told them "Chestita Nova Godina" or as we say in English "Happy New Year!"

Hahahahaha!

A Short Tale About the Lizard with No Tail

So aside from the black puppy hanging outside my front door (coz the other two mysteriously disappeared and I like to think they were given away to loving and caring humans and let's leave it at that), there's another poor soul dwelling in my apartment. This time on the ceiling: a lizard without a tail who I've dubbed as Lizzie the Lizard. He's been around for about 5 days now. Sometimes he crawls about really quick and then he always return to the same spot on the corner, right above the bar. And stay there for hours. I think he stares at me.

Maybe he wants booze and is jealous of all the black ants getting drunk on the spills of vodka and creme de menthe. I like to watch 'em wobble all over the surface of the bar counter. Others are totally immobilized with intoxication. I don't drive 'em away, I enjoy getting drunk with those silly ants.

Anyhoo, back to Lizzie the Lizard. I heard that the lizard's tail is its defense mechanism. I think Lizzie is here under my nurturing roof to recuperate and be up and about again and eat the creepy crawlies. I wonder what happened to his tail.

It Must be Hate

Woke up again this morning to the sound of the neighbors' shouting match. As usual, it went on and on and on. What the hell is wrong with these people?

This time the topics covered were mostly about death (mamatay unta ka), a bit of  home and gadget (layas dire, ibilin na ang cellfone), one mention about sex and family (kayata aning pamilyaha oi) and finally, prostitution (burikat ka).

I wanted to tell the person who was called a prostitute not to worry. If she is actually a prostitute, then for her, love is always just around the corner. Hahahahaha!

Rock On! \m/

One of the best beers on earth

I just luuurve my Rock glass, just as much as I love the Rock beer. It makes all beers taste vundabar, even room temperature Red Horse.

But the Rock beer and the Rock glass are always perfect together. Makes sense, since both are made for each other.

I miss the beer. And Tartu. And Gunpowder Cellar.

I Love My Hair

Even when it's scaring me.

It's the 2nd time this week that I freaked out because something was crawling on my skin, only to find out that that it was just actually my hair.

My apartment is near to a mini wilderness that's why I always stumble across some creepy crawlies creeping and crawling inside the house.

I don't mind much except if they start flying and/or heading for my direction.

And as long as they're not the mortal enemies.

Speaking of which, I still can't get over the traumatic events of Thursday night. A total of 7 huge cockroaches and all of them were flying about. Soooo gross plus one. I will never go back to that place again, ever.  

And there was the fact that the MW was very specific about me not causing a scene. I did not, because the waitresses were very adept at reaching for 'em once they land on the walls and then killing 'em. The last straw was when another was flying in our direction. I ran towards the exit, leaving everything behind --- lappy, ipod, beer, cash, the MW and all. 

Buzz Off, Dimwit

SOMEBODY passed by me earlier and asked me if I'm not at home yet, like: "Are you not at home yet, Celest?"

Hellooooooo! I'm right in front of him! And a whole lot of kilometers away from my apartment. I just shook my head without looking at him, like he was asking a normal, boring question. And used all of my will-power not to tell him: "Actually, I'm at home right at this very moment and it's just my holographic image that you're talking to."

But his being a dim-wit seems to be critical in nature, so why bother?

Elevator Erotica

I wish! Hahahahaha!

Because, OMG!!! There was an American (I think) hottie (definitely!) in the elevator and it took all of my willpower not to turn around and wink at him. Or stare. Or drool. Then he asked me and the other girl where we worked. I looked at him and I could feel my under-thingies practically falling off. I said the PT thing in hopefully was an uber-cool manner. The other girl was apparently brain-dead and in heaven, as she wasn't able to utter a single thing. Then, the elevator doors opened to reveal my floor. And it seemed I was not yet completely giddy and spasmodic inside coz I was able to hurriedly ask him where he works.

And it's at:  **** , somewhere above 12th Floor. Hurrraaaay and triple-yum!!!!

Maybe they have a job opening there. Hahahaha!

How to Combat Office Depression

Maybe I'm not cut out to be an HR person. Here I am on a work day and drinking beer. But very, very responsibly.

Meaning, I'm having my 4th beer at East West and doing my HR duties and responsibilities at the same time. In a very competent manner.

Because I am very competent at drinking beer and I am very competent when it comes to my professional tasks.

It' just that I'm having office depression. It is now just one big and almost empty space. I'm not used to it just yet.

There's only the two of us here in their smoking room. It's sooo cold and cozy with all the throw pillows and lounging chairs. We're listening to the Road Trippin' playlist and I'm singing "Candy" and "Caribbean Blue" at the top of my lungs. My voice must have traveled all the way to Mooon. I'm not sure, but I am.

And he is drifting off to sleep as we speak. Indeed, my voice is a very, very soothing phenomenon. Hahahahahaha!

Prisoner's Day-off

Today, I'm skipping the Warden's Lair altogether. Yeeaaahh, freedom!

What to do, what to do?

First, I'm gonna finish off all levels of Pet Shop Hop. 2 more levels to go, and I'm through with this stupid game. Hahahaha!

Then, I'm gonna do some manic dancing for 1 hour.

Afterwhich, I'm gonna try to jailbreak the touch. There's already one for OS4. Hallelujah and a half!!! Hope this works.

Later, the LPs and I will go to Baka's for Ethan's birthday dinner. And prolly create chaos that will shake their neighborhood.

Can't waiteeeeee! 

And maybe much, much later, around midnight, when I'm all boozy, I'm going to cry. Coz a much bigger dog mangled one of the pups living outside my door. If that poor, b

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Something just crawled on my arm!!! But it was just my hair. Pheewww. 

Anyhoo, as I was saying, if that poor black puppy dies I will hunt that criminal dog/puppy murderer and cook the bastard. But I will not eat it. Nope, not gonna happen. 

Barely Awake

Today, all I wanted to do was dance. But I have to show up at the Warden's Lair for grown-up responsibilities. And so I spent the entire prison day trying my bestest not to fall asleep and crash my head into my lappy. But it's almost time for freedom and tonight, I'm heading to Margaritaville. There, I will dance in my under thingies and nothing else. Wooohoooo!

It Must be Ugly but I'm Laughing So Hard

I woke up to the sound of my neighbors in an uber-furious shouting match. And it went on and on and on for about an hour. In the throes of anger, they can certainly cover a lot of topics from prostitution (burikat ka!), lesbianism (ikaw, tomboy!), economics (wa kay kwarta! wa kay natabang dire), education (ni undang kag skwela), unemployment (unya wala kay trabaho), kids (layas dire dalha na imong anak), a lot of diseases (peste, atay, cholera), animals in general (animal ka, animal!) and the devil himself (yawa ka!).

The nastiness of it all borders on comedy. Hahahaha! With awakenings like this, who needs coffee? 

Oh, I still do.

On Second Thought...

Yes, I'm having second thoughts about this whole Prague-Ireland-Tartu-Bulgaria-etc. business coz I'd really miss my bar and my bamboo lamp.

At least the life partners and the crazy family and the rest of the besties can Skype me anytime. I cannot interact with my bar and my bamboo lamp if I'm overseas. On webcam, we will just stare at each other and do nothing.

Oh, we'll see.

Sunday Morning Rain is Falling

Steal some covers share some skin.

Anyway, enough singing, that's not even part of my Sunday playlist. It doesn't feel completely like Sunday unless I hear the mix of classics, mushy and country. Some of the songs really suck but I love 'em on Sunday. On any other day, sometimes these songs make me wanna blow my brains out.

But they're always perfect for Karaoke. And me singing them when I'm annoyed with the neighbors and it's payback time.

I'm playing something called Pet Shop Hop. All the strategizing will qualify me for international spy work. Hahahahaha!

And drinking last night's leftover beer. It lost a bit of its soul so I poured creme de menthe and added some ice. And voila, it's alive again. Oh yeah!

Prague in My Mind

Definitely. Maybe. And Georgia, too. Then settle down in Ireland. For good. And spend some of vacations days in Tartu and a whole lot in Bulgaria. And the rest of the world.

I'll set myself loose in Europe. Yeah, baby!