eenie MEANie moe

For the longest time, I've noticed that there are certain people who either haven't heard about the line "if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all" or they simply just don't like this saying. This is particularly applicable to two general groups:


A. Those we haven't seen in a long time such as classmates, former co-workers and distant relatives 
B. People we see on a regular basis, like co-workers and neighbors. 


When a compliment eludes their brains and a simple hi or hello just won't suffice and keeping their mouths shut is not an option, these people tend to resort to pointing out the negative and/or the obvious about us, no matter how fine, normal and/or fabulous we look. Example: You've gained weight, You've lost weight, Your hair is dry, You're too dark, You're too pale, Your outfit is too flashy, Your outfit is too dull, etc. 


(An exception of course is when a booger is hanging right outside our noses or a piece of broccoli is stuck on our teeth. I would point out such things to the affected party!)


Anyhoo, the point of this post is not because I care what they say. Words and stuff usually don't affect me especially if I don't give a shit about the person saying or doing them. The point of this post is just me wanting to say the following:


If you can't say something nice at all, then be prepared for a mean retort.


Examples:


Distant Relative: Oi, tambuka na nimo oi kabuthonon na man ka! (Hey, you're so fat that you're about to burst!)
Reply: Ikaw murag kamatyonon na man ka oi! Unsa imong sakit? (And you look like you're about to die! OMG! What's the diagnosis?)


Classmate: Na unsa na man na imong buhok oi? Kalkag kaayo! (What's wrong with your hair? It looks soo disheveled!)
Reply: Ikaw kay mao ra gyud gihapun imong histura ay... Tsk, tsk, tsk! (And you look exactly the same... Tsk, tsk, tsk!) - say this with a shake of the head and a pitying look. 


Other Examples of Replies:

• Ikaw pud. (You too)
• Di ba na priso ka? (Were you in prison?)
• Hala, na unsa na imong nawng? (What's wrong with your face?)
• Murag naa lagi gamay nga sayop sa imong retoke. (Something's a bit off with your plastic surgery)
• Mura lagig wa ka naligo ron. (It seems like you haven't showered)

Heavy Petting

After the trauma of having my dogs die due to different reasons which I will not elaborate for fear of having extreme sniffles while i'm alone tonight, I still want another dog. But my house is not the ideal place to have one, so the issue of whether to get a dog or not is still up in the air. 


Although I can't say I don't have pets. I do, they just don't belong to me, but they get under my skin in a good way. They belong to my neighbors but I consider myself a "minority shareholder" due to their close proximity to the house.  As of the moment, I have four. 


There's this dog we used to call Pet, who is actually named Kim because he is handicapped in the leg and in Cebuano that's called "Kimpang". He eats all our leftovers and quarrels with Alarm the rooster, because apparently Alarm wants to peck on the doggie treats, as well. 


The other one is a goat I call Goatee, just tied outside my bedroom window. He keeps on bleeeing 24/7 and he sounds so cute but I bet he's just lonely coz he doesn't have another goat to talk to, just the dogs and a rooster. I wonder if they understand each other. I really hate thinking about the day when he will be served stewed on a dinner table somewhere. :'( 


The third one is a rooster who I named Alarm, just roosting beside Goatee. He likes to tease Kim by pecking on some bits and pieces of rice kernels and meat bones. Kim is greedy and he doesn't like to share the treats with Alarm. Alarm gets agigated when all the dogs start barking. He's my alarm clock and I think he's a fighting cock so I always pray he doesn't die or get injured in a fight. 


The fourth one isn't owned by neighbors, and he lives within the walls of our back area so I consider him inclusive of the apartment rent. He's a tuko, and I was told he's worth 200 grand. I like him to stay within the property because he gobbles up all the stinky, fuckin' roaches.  


So while the issue of having a dog or not is not resolved, I still have these 4 darlings to love, albeit in a distant manner. No cuddling! 

Booze Seduction

booze will always get in the way of toughness that's why i get mushy.

myself will always get in the way of mushy and everything else that's why i don't care except for those worth caring for.

booze will always get in the way of everything else, therefore making trivial and semi-important stuff ambiguous.

but brains will always get in the way of booze. that's why i'm here where i am right now. booze might kill me someday (i understand the facts that's why i'm where i'm at because i know and i understand) but my brains will make sure i will die happy. :)

by the way, why won't the mouse wheel thingy work on windows 7 sticky notes??

The Black Legionaries

Last night:

Another one of those black ant colony invasions. I don't mind sharing leftover cocktails but to set up camp in the AC and then into the bed... now that's a different story. The captain awesome will destroy you in a bit, small creatures.

But the captain is still amiss. The legion is now divided into cohorts while i'm sipping my minty cocktail and biding my time. They'll never know what hit them when my butt lands on them! Mwahahahahaha!

The Laundry Struggle

Ok. So most of you know that Awesome and I have been officially living together for almost 2 years now. This is different from sneaking around and sleeping about pretending nobody’s seeing stuff or hiding in the bedroom so our fathers won’t see actions that we’ve done for the past 100 years anyway. Judging us for living together?? Oh, go kill yourselves. We’ve been a couple for the past 14 years. We really don’t care if we end up televised while checkin’ in to a sleazy motel. Which we can do… But I won’t due to cockroach fear.

Anyhoo. The reason about this entire clamor is laundry. He does it all the time with or without my share of it. (the clothes share and not me “helping him” share) So all I do is just shrug and take my stuff to a pro. But, there are times (which is most of the time) when he just washes every single thing.

So, sleepless as I am, I decided to be on the occasional domestic goddess mode and wash his stuff. First, I soaked the whites in whiteners. Then I asked him thru text how long the soaking lasts. He replied “usually overnight” That was 6.am ago. Right now is 11.am and I sent him an SMS saying that I’m still awake and should I continue to wash his uniform and hang them to dry?? And the response was “Yehey!” And I was like WTF?????

Nothing

i am functioning under awesome's time. so i walked at 5AM with him 1/2km to where the jeepneys are. went aboard with him. got off where i can buy booze. walked down to dad's and mom's. stopped over the breakfast/lunch eatery across the street where dad used to buy breakfast/lunch. and bought soup and noodles and egg rolls and grilled pork. chatted with the proprietor. about how dad used to call her from across the street to have food delivered (a special service for dad coz they don't deliver), then i went with my goods and chatted with mom across the street for a bit before going home. then cried my heart out. i really miss my dad.

Merrily Farting

So Awesome is awake at 4AM preparing for work and I won't even elaborate on the title and he's like a 2nd grader still trying to steal some sleep on the couch. After which, I can’t even continue writing this coz he keeps on PEEKING here and trying to get me to sleeeeeeeeeeeeep. Grrrrrrrrrrr. And keeps on being snugly. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.