Doggone Food and Heavy Petting Stuff

i ate my first pet. his name was gabby and he's a dog. i was barely 4 years old when i ate him. i don't want to dwell on details but back then, i thought it was fine, like eating the pig or chicken we've been feeding for the past 12 months .


and i don't blame nobody from back then cos i think they think it was fine. only when i was about 10 years old did i realize the inappropriateness of it all. plus, a few weeks back, there was a violent reaction  from my boyfriend about this piece of revelation that made me realize once again how taboo my dinner was once upon a time when i was more or less an innocent little toddler. 


but  i'm not here to talk about pets and barnyard animals long gone. i'm here to talk about sperm, the magical dog. he died a day after my dad's funeral. he was a magical dad.


but i'm not here to talk about my dad. i'm really here to talk about sperm. because he seemed human, more human than some people i know.


but i'm not here to talk about those less human people coz they're not worth talking about coz they're less human than most animals, including humans.


i just miss sperm very much. all his funny antics and misadventures along a kilometer strip of the road makes me smile in a silly kind of way. blame it on the goose!

Twilight Zone

The roosters are crowing, the sun is almost rising, the PUJs are on the go and I'm still going hither and thither looking for toilet paper. At quarter to five. Because of course, I gotta pee. 


It's technically 3 days after my birthday, which means the party dust has settled. Or has it? Of course not, coz why else am I still awake at such an ungodly hour? The reason is -- party booze party, of course! And the real reason is:

that wtf moment when you wake up after having had too much to drink that you fell asleep on the couch while watching tv and you can't go back to sleep so you drink some more!


So there. Good morning. I hope i'm not too wtf-upped tomorrow! Coz i have to be productive at work. And i want to be productive with the life partners after! 


So i concluded that if i want my work and my life partners to last forever (life partners are more or less guaranteed though. For work, you just have to get up on time and be productive the rest of the working day.) The good thing about life partners is that you can go out and multiply the fun anytime you're free!


So I don't know what my point is. Helloooo, I'm boozed up so lay off me!


Okay! It's five fuckin' AM!!! Let's make this work!

Freedom Has A Price Tag

And the price ain't money but it's something I can afford to pay off and still enjoy!

Coz I'm enjoying my 9-day break (it started last Saturday and ends this coming Sunday), 5 days of which were given to me freely by the new boss. Oh yeah!

Despite all the pleasant feelings of having all these free time, I can't help but miss:

• My Tycolux officemates
• My 30-inch Mac
• My view from the 6th floor of Keppel
• My ex-boss heehee

Despite the mad dancing and the singing of songs and the rolling around the bed for hours and the 8-hour video marathons and the shopping and the dinner outs and the boozing everywhere, I also can't help but look forward to:

• Starting the new job and getting the paychecks
• The home-based HQ (again!)
• The 8-hour standing position
• The occasional boozy lunch
• The frequent borrowing of office spaces in pubs like Urban Cellar
• Taking my work to the beach front located at least 3 hours away from the city!

Now come to think of it, there is NO price tag. Oooool eeeess GOOOHD!

eenie MEANie moe

For the longest time, I've noticed that there are certain people who either haven't heard about the line "if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all" or they simply just don't like this saying. This is particularly applicable to two general groups:


A. Those we haven't seen in a long time such as classmates, former co-workers and distant relatives 
B. People we see on a regular basis, like co-workers and neighbors. 


When a compliment eludes their brains and a simple hi or hello just won't suffice and keeping their mouths shut is not an option, these people tend to resort to pointing out the negative and/or the obvious about us, no matter how fine, normal and/or fabulous we look. Example: You've gained weight, You've lost weight, Your hair is dry, You're too dark, You're too pale, Your outfit is too flashy, Your outfit is too dull, etc. 


(An exception of course is when a booger is hanging right outside our noses or a piece of broccoli is stuck on our teeth. I would point out such things to the affected party!)


Anyhoo, the point of this post is not because I care what they say. Words and stuff usually don't affect me especially if I don't give a shit about the person saying or doing them. The point of this post is just me wanting to say the following:


If you can't say something nice at all, then be prepared for a mean retort.


Examples:


Distant Relative: Oi, tambuka na nimo oi kabuthonon na man ka! (Hey, you're so fat that you're about to burst!)
Reply: Ikaw murag kamatyonon na man ka oi! Unsa imong sakit? (And you look like you're about to die! OMG! What's the diagnosis?)


Classmate: Na unsa na man na imong buhok oi? Kalkag kaayo! (What's wrong with your hair? It looks soo disheveled!)
Reply: Ikaw kay mao ra gyud gihapun imong histura ay... Tsk, tsk, tsk! (And you look exactly the same... Tsk, tsk, tsk!) - say this with a shake of the head and a pitying look. 


Other Examples of Replies:

• Ikaw pud. (You too)
• Di ba na priso ka? (Were you in prison?)
• Hala, na unsa na imong nawng? (What's wrong with your face?)
• Murag naa lagi gamay nga sayop sa imong retoke. (Something's a bit off with your plastic surgery)
• Mura lagig wa ka naligo ron. (It seems like you haven't showered)

Heavy Petting

After the trauma of having my dogs die due to different reasons which I will not elaborate for fear of having extreme sniffles while i'm alone tonight, I still want another dog. But my house is not the ideal place to have one, so the issue of whether to get a dog or not is still up in the air. 


Although I can't say I don't have pets. I do, they just don't belong to me, but they get under my skin in a good way. They belong to my neighbors but I consider myself a "minority shareholder" due to their close proximity to the house.  As of the moment, I have four. 


There's this dog we used to call Pet, who is actually named Kim because he is handicapped in the leg and in Cebuano that's called "Kimpang". He eats all our leftovers and quarrels with Alarm the rooster, because apparently Alarm wants to peck on the doggie treats, as well. 


The other one is a goat I call Goatee, just tied outside my bedroom window. He keeps on bleeeing 24/7 and he sounds so cute but I bet he's just lonely coz he doesn't have another goat to talk to, just the dogs and a rooster. I wonder if they understand each other. I really hate thinking about the day when he will be served stewed on a dinner table somewhere. :'( 


The third one is a rooster who I named Alarm, just roosting beside Goatee. He likes to tease Kim by pecking on some bits and pieces of rice kernels and meat bones. Kim is greedy and he doesn't like to share the treats with Alarm. Alarm gets agigated when all the dogs start barking. He's my alarm clock and I think he's a fighting cock so I always pray he doesn't die or get injured in a fight. 


The fourth one isn't owned by neighbors, and he lives within the walls of our back area so I consider him inclusive of the apartment rent. He's a tuko, and I was told he's worth 200 grand. I like him to stay within the property because he gobbles up all the stinky, fuckin' roaches.  


So while the issue of having a dog or not is not resolved, I still have these 4 darlings to love, albeit in a distant manner. No cuddling! 

Booze Seduction

booze will always get in the way of toughness that's why i get mushy.

myself will always get in the way of mushy and everything else that's why i don't care except for those worth caring for.

booze will always get in the way of everything else, therefore making trivial and semi-important stuff ambiguous.

but brains will always get in the way of booze. that's why i'm here where i am right now. booze might kill me someday (i understand the facts that's why i'm where i'm at because i know and i understand) but my brains will make sure i will die happy. :)

by the way, why won't the mouse wheel thingy work on windows 7 sticky notes??

The Black Legionaries

Last night:

Another one of those black ant colony invasions. I don't mind sharing leftover cocktails but to set up camp in the AC and then into the bed... now that's a different story. The captain awesome will destroy you in a bit, small creatures.

But the captain is still amiss. The legion is now divided into cohorts while i'm sipping my minty cocktail and biding my time. They'll never know what hit them when my butt lands on them! Mwahahahahaha!